Five years in the lifestyle. Im empty. Has anyone gone back to vanilla?

Looked at my wife last weekend over breakfast and realised I cant remember the last time I just looked at her because shes my wife, not because we were planning something with someone else. Im Declan, 48, with my wife 19 years. We opened in 2020, five years ago last winter. The first year and a half was electric. New people every week, clubs in Belfast and Dublin, couples over from Liverpool, weekends away. Thought we had cracked something nobody else had. Year three I noticed I was having a pint before every meet. Year four I felt nothing until things were already moving. Year five I realised I was a machine — drive, charm, perform, recover, next. Ive given my attention to a hundred strangers and given her the leftovers. Told her last night. She cried and said she feels the same and didnt know how to say. Were thinking of closing. Has anyone actually walked back from this? Does desire come back inside a couple or is the road closed once you leave?