FAQ
Frequently asked questions about obuny and swinging
As a pair or solo, you’ve got questions before taking the plunge. Here are the answers, straight up.
Getting started on obuny
What exactly is obuny?
A dating site and app for couples, singles, swingers and polyamorous people. You meet people near you, chat privately or in group rooms, and share photos and stories.
Is it really free?
Yes, 100%: sign-up, private messages, rooms, stories, photos and search. No credit card is asked for, and messaging will stay free for life.
Getting started on obuny (continued)
Do I have to be in a couple to sign up?
No. Solo or as a group, a beginner or simply curious: everyone says what they’re looking for, and the filters do the rest.
How do I sign up?
A nickname and a photo are all it takes, in two minutes. The photo is required at sign-up: a profile with no photo rarely gets opened. As a couple, you create a single profile with both your ages.
Do I need experience?
No. Plenty of members haven’t tried anything yet: they read, chat and go at their own pace. Nothing obliges you to post, write or meet.
Discretion and privacy
How do I stay discreet?
You choose a nickname, never your name. Blur hides a face or a detail in your photos, and you can hide your availability from the types of profile you choose.
Who sees my private photos?
Only your friends: the members whose friend request you’ve accepted. Nobody else can see them.
Discretion and privacy (continued)
Who can see my stories?
Everyone, or just your friends: you choose. A story disappears after 24 hours.
How do I delete my account?
In Settings, “Delete my account”. Deletion is immediate, and your private content is erased within 30 days.
Meeting and chatting
How do I find people near me?
Filter by town, distance and profile type — couples, women, men. Each country has its own feed: you see people from your area, never from another country.
How do I know who’s free tonight?
Set your availability: now, tonight, or up to three days ahead, with a time if you like. It’s only visible to the profile types you’ve chosen, and you can see other people’s.
Meeting and chatting (continued)
Do I need a match to message someone?
No. No match to wait for: if you like a profile, you message them. Messaging is free for life.
Can I choose who messages me?
Yes. You decide which profiles can message you directly — couples, women, men. Other messages land in your Requests, and you open them when you like.
What are rooms?
Group chats, specific to each country. People get to know each other, plan a night out, then go private.
Which countries?
Members in 67 countries. Each country has its own feed, rooms and availability, and they never mix.
Safety and respect
What does the blue badge mean?
Couples and women can have their profile verified. Once verified, the blue badge appears next to the nickname: you know who you’re talking to.
What if someone keeps pushing or is disrespectful?
Block or report them in one tap, from their profile or the conversation. The community rules are public, and reports are reviewed by the moderation team.
Safety and respect (continued)
How do I stay safe when meeting someone?
Don’t give out your address in the first message, choose somewhere neutral for the first meeting — a bar, a swingers club — and keep the freedom to leave at any time. As a couple, agree on a “stop” word beforehand.
Swinging, simply explained
What’s the difference between swinging and partner swapping?
Swinging is a broad term: partner swapping, same-room play, threesomes, voyeurism, exhibitionism… Partner swapping specifically means couples exchanging partners. Both have their place here.
Soft swap or full swap: what’s the difference?
A soft swap stops at foreplay and oral sex with the other couple, without penetration. A full swap goes all the way. Many couples start with a soft swap, and go at their own pace.
Swinging, simply explained (continued)
How do we get started as a couple?
Talk at length about your desires and your limits, read, chat with other couples, then choose somewhere neutral — a bar, a club — for a first meeting. And debrief the next day.
How do we handle jealousy?
Talk about it straight away, without bottling it up. If it’s strong, take a break for a few weeks. If it comes back every time, this may not be for your relationship — and that’s a perfectly valid answer.
Is swinging legal in the UK?
Yes, between consenting adults. Private life is protected by Article 8 of the European Convention on Human Rights, which applies in the UK as in every Council of Europe country.
Didn’t find your answer?
The help centre covers common problems, and the team reads every message.
Ready to take the plunge?
100% free, no credit card. Adults only.
Create my free account