Safety

Safety tips for dating with confidence

Whether you come as a pair or solo: a few simple habits, online and on the day itself, and you stay in control.

On obuny, you decide who sees what

Nobody needs to know your name to meet you. You show what you want, to whoever you want.

• A nickname, never your namenobody knows your real name.
• Private photos for your friendsthey only open to people whose friend request you’ve accepted.
• Blur in one tapa face, a tattoo, a detail: you blur it before posting.

Your stories, your messages : you stay in control

• Stories that disappearvisible for 24 hours, to everyone or just your friends.
• You choose who messages youother messages wait in your Requests, where you reply… or not.
• Vanish modein a conversation, messages disappear when you leave it.

If someone bothers you

A no never needs explaining. Everything is done from the “⋮” menu on a profile or a conversation.

• Blockthe person can no longer see your profile or your content.
• Restrictwithout them knowing: their messages land in your Requests with no notification, and you can hide yourself from their Available list.
• Mutethe conversation stays, but no longer notifies you.
• Reporton a profile, a message or a post: the moderation team reviews every report.

Know who you’re talking to

• Verified profilescouples and women can have their profile verified: a blue badge appears next to the nickname.
• Moderated photosevery photo is checked and anything inappropriate is removed.
• Public rulesthe same for everyone, and pushing after a refusal is penalised.

• How we verify
• The community rules

Before and during a first meeting

• A public place to start witha bar, a café, a restaurant. Never the home of someone you don’t know.
• Tell someone close to youwhere you’re going and who with; share your live location if you can.
• Plan your way homea booked taxi, a nearby hotel: you remain free to leave at any time.
• Trust your instinctsif something makes you uncomfortable, you leave. No excuses.

Your health

With casual partners, condoms are non-negotiable — external or internal, depending on what you’re doing. Get a full STI screen every three to six months: it’s free and confidential at NHS sexual health clinics in the UK and at public STI clinics in Ireland. Talk openly with your partners about their testing habits. PrEP is an option if you’re more at risk: ask your doctor or clinic.

You’re a couple : your rules before the evening

When you explore together, everything comes down to talking.

• A “stop” word agreed in advanceif either of you says it, everything stops, no discussion.
• Go easy on the alcoholit makes you cross limits without realising.
• A debrief the next daywhat you liked, what you liked less, what you’ll do again or avoid.
• Never compareno “it was better with him” or “with her”.
• A break if jealousy sets inseveral weeks at least before trying again, or a different path.

Your anonymity online

• Photos without your faceif anonymity matters to you — or blur it before posting.
• A separate email addressnot your work address or your main one.
• Your nickname, not your first nameon the site and in your first conversations.
• Be wary of strangerskeep intimate photos for your friends, not for the first person who asks.
• No location in your photoscheck their metadata (EXIF) before sending them.

What the law says

Dating between consenting adults is legal in the UK, in Ireland and across Europe. A few rules apply: don’t photograph or film anyone without their explicit consent, never share private images, and make sure anyone you have sex with is an adult. Sharing intimate images without consent is a criminal offence in the UK and in Ireland, as it is across the European Union. And consent can be withdrawn at any time, without giving a reason.

Frequently asked questions

Frequently asked questions (continued)